Repressed and Rebels

Opening Mood: Good Morning, and I’m still grumpy
Opening Song: None.

I saw him at the coffee house yesterday. It’s been more than a year since we last met. He hasn’t changed a bit. Dressed in a loose T-shirt and a pair of faded jeans, he looked casual as ever. He saw me and the next moment, he was at my table. So typical of him, I thought!

“Wassup dude! Howz life? How’s that Linux thing of yours goin on?” , he asked.

I told him about my work, and the interesting stuff that was happening there. He listened to all of it with great interest.

So, it’s not t O(1) anymore, eh?! Nice. Will check that out sometime.” He said.

I asked him about his work, and life.

“Going on! I am enjoying it. Nothing to do with what we studied back in college. But doing good.”

I felt happy for him. Finally the chap had found something which has managed to hold his attention for this long. Good for him!

“I’ll be quitting next week. There’s this other cool thing I read about the other day. Will be working on it!”

I guess he loved the expression on my face, when he said that. Because he gave me that wicked smile.I asked him if he had any definite plan about this other thing.

“Nope! It’s still in a very nascent stage. Will fiddle with it for a while.”

I really couldn’t believe it!

This is one of those people who has real potential to change the world. Instead of realizing it, here he was “Wandering! Yup, that I am. And I like it. I feel extremely light.”

Fear of the C-word?, I asked him.

“Not at all! It’s just the futility of commitment. I don’t see the point in it. Simply cannot understand how can I make a promise to accomplish something, when there may be thousands of interesting things on the way. I can’t just ‘let-go’ of these things. I will be interested in stopping and having a look around. And may be, one of these things’ll drive me on a different path, which may never meet the first one. And, I don’t wanna keep anyone waiting for me!”

I gave a puzzled look that demanded further explanation.

“Dude, I don’t want to be defined by some one thing that I do in life. I’ve seen it happen before. You show your interest in something, and people around you create an image, associating you with that thing. And in course of time, you yourself accept that image, and feed it further. One fine day, when you discover something else which is “fun”, the same people tell you that the “fun” thing doesn’t fit your image or it’s extrapolations. And thus, you automatically become a member of the society’s “Repressed or Rebels Club”. The moment you let something define you, you are enslaved by an obligation to do well in that. Sometimes it happens without your knowledge. And you start thinking – ‘But this is what I wanted to do all the while! So I should be happy.’ Just that my idea of happiness isn’t preceded by conditionals.”

I started laughing. I understood what he was talking about. I got up. This meeting was over.

He was still sitting there, smiling.

I paid our bill, picked up my stuff, plugged in my iPod and bid him adieu. Led Zep’s voice filled my brain.

Stairway to the heaven. Man, people sure *do* wanna buy that thing! I started walking back home.

Yes there are two paths you can go by, but in the long run.
There’s still time to change the road you’re on.

Closing Song: None.
Closing Mood: Wide awake.


About gautshen

A jack of many trades of which , Linux Kernel Programming puts food on the table. Also pursuing his PhD in the area Theoretical Computer Science at the Chennai Mathematical Institute. Is an avid reader interested in the Hindu traditions and philosophy. Loves Bicycling and Good Music. Name is Ranjal Gautham Shenoy.
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7 Responses to Repressed and Rebels

  1. wanderlust says:

    you are still prevented from doing what you love if you go by this… why should you keep changing your profile constantly just coz you dont want to be slotted?
    at the end of the day, it’s about keeping your head above public opinion, image and things like that, and focussing on YOU, and the things you love. It’s about dealing with change.
    I guess the exact same things have been spoken about in Who Moved My Cheese?

  2. rand0mwalker says:

    On the contrary, I find him doing everything that he loves. What he meant was that love can change! And he believes in dealing with it in a very natural manner – By just accepting it πŸ™‚

  3. Lyn says:

    i love the part you you paid “our” bill and plugged in your ipod.. led zep sure does help !! πŸ™‚

  4. Lyn says:

    where you paid*.. stand corrected

  5. fearless of "c" says:

    It is upto you when you feel you have had enough of ‘wandering’ and decide to settle down for a quiet life in a cabin by the lake..

    -just a way of life.

  6. rand0mwalker says:

    Oh yeah! Led Zep sure does help!!

    @fearless of “c”
    Well said! Thy name reflects thy thoughts pretty well here!!

  7. Kripal says:

    I’m starting with the man in the mirror. – Micheal Jackson.

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