Beam me up Scotty

Opening Song: None
Opening Mood: Sullen

Its a beautiful Tuesday morning… I wake up at 6 AM.. The song “Here I am” rings in my ears, filling me with hope and joy. I’m ready another great day of my life, I tell myself.

I get into my track suit and go outside..

Kela #1: It rained yesterday. The ground’s wet and slippery. Can’t jog.

Chill out, I tell myself, there are better things to do… Like what? Hmmm, let me iron my clothes.
I look at the heap of my washed clothes, carry them to the ironing board and begin the job of an Iron-Man!!

Kela #2: The power’s playing hide and seek. When it finally comes back, the voltage is not sufficient and starts tripping everytime I switch on the ironbox.

Ditch maga, you’ve already ironed a pair of trousers and a nice cotton shirt for today.. Find something else to do…
Aha.. my shoes. Lemme polish them… There, they look dark and shiny… I love formals!!

Kela #3: Just, wait can’t you?!

8:45 AM ,I am waiting to catch a bus at the banshankari bus stand. Rohit and Vasanti are blabbering something on the Radio City, the music of Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna(KANK) is being premiered on Mirchi and on AIR Rainbow *Yaaaawn*, nothing worthwhile.

Kela #4: 201J forgets to stop,somehow. 201G looks as if the people were always hanging from it. Cha, missed two busses.

201M arrives.. It’s full, but what the hell, I’ve gotta get to work, I tell myself and struggle my way in..

It’s full of people, who wanna get down at the next stop, but all of whom are buried somewhere in the back-end of the bus. They shove their way out pushing and cursing… I try to shove myself into the interiors. Radio City is doing their 9:10 routine.. Somehow, I manage to get enough space for myself… *Sigh of relief*..

I don’t understand one thing. Why do you find so much free space at the back end of the bus, while it’s always crowded near the doorway. Why can’t people be cooperative.. May be we should start giving commuting classes, like we have those classes where they say -“Fork in the left hand, Knife in the right”.

Kela #5: No sooner I start wondering about the commuting classes, than it hits me. All my ironing has gone waste 😦 My shirt’s soiled; My trousers are muddied; My shining shoes, aren’t shining anymore.. Kela #3 is finally realized!!

The bus moves at snail’s pace… I begin wondering whether motion is what occurs between stops or is it the other way around… The flow of thoughts is interrupted by a certain high pitched nasal voice on the radio ( I don’t remember whether it’s 91 or 93.3 FM).

Kela #6: I switch channels. The remix version of the same song( high pitched nasal one) is being played here. So I switch to Rainbow(101.3, if you want to…) The RJ’s delivering more of “Umm”‘s and “aaa” than the dialogues.. Give me a break lady, Either start liking what you do or start doing what you like… Don’t torture us and yourself by RJ’ing in such a pathetic manner.

The Bus finally reaches Silk Board, and I begin experiencing pain in my shoulders. It’s 9:45… 1 hour for 7Km.. Ridiculous.

Stuck in the traffic,I manage to catch the sight of a plane flying in the sky… Lucky bastards, must be probably getting instructions on what to do when any mishap occurs -Wear the jacket, put on the mask, pull the string and jump outside….

I begin to see the practical demonstration of queueing networks…

To pass time, I start thinking of what can be done to alleviate this problem.

  • Start coming in early to the office.. Real early, I mean at 6 ‘o clock.
  • Or better, follow the US timing.. i.e. 9 P.M to 7 A.M
  • Buy a dozen of wrinkle free shirt with my first salary.
  • Somehow convince BMTC to put up 10 decker buses.
  • Work from home.. Small Office Home Office..

  • But this was the killer idea finally managed to hit me.. Start a new fund for research in teleportation quantum physics so that we could realize the idea of “Beam me up Scotty”.. What say??

PS: I am sorry for writing such a sorry blog. I suck at cribbing.. Priya, Elixer, Barki – Guys, I badly need lessons here… But I am disgusted and extremely pissed off.. I managed to reach my office.. Yeah, thanks to god’s grace I finally did; But at 10:45 AM…
Can someone please explain me why do you need 2 hours to cover 15 Km???? Or why should the radio channels keep playing songs of the jacket wearing-beard sporting-nasal singer-cum-music composer every ten minutes?? Sigh, Some questions have no answers…


Closing Song: None…

Closing Mood: Still sullen 😦

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About gautshen

A jack of many trades of which , Linux Kernel Programming puts food on the table. Also pursuing his PhD in the area Theoretical Computer Science at the Chennai Mathematical Institute. Is an avid reader interested in the Hindu traditions and philosophy. Loves Bicycling and Good Music. Name is Ranjal Gautham Shenoy.
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19 Responses to Beam me up Scotty

  1. Srikanth Kamath says:

    Yeah, that female “RJ” with cooked up bangi accent irritates me like hell .. but then its better than Akashavani M’lore πŸ˜‰

  2. priya says:

    you’re cribbing fine, and about the right things.i cant stand the radiostations of bangalore. they’ve deteriorated like crazy. once upon a time, you could rely on them to bring you the latest music and trivia, and a lot of entertainment…. not anymore. even their wannabe-wackiness is irritating.i heard a new radiostation is gonna be coming up in a month or so.quite a coincidence… i had a horrible morning too… btm to indiranager in the rush hour…. couldnt pick a worse time to visit my cousin.even the traffic policeman was yelling in road rage.

  3. Sindhu says:

    i’m tired of cribbing..done too much already..& if ur’z is not enuf..try mine..u’ll never wanna crib again;)www.justletmefly.blogspot.com

  4. theG says:

    dude, did not expect this from you! you are the one who is supposed to solve the problems, do something about them. not crib! think of what the world will come to then.

  5. randomwalker says:

    @srikanth kamathIt’s not even a cooked up bangy accent.. It’s worse. It’s as if she’s trying to learn english and speak at the same time..@priyaToo bad.. I think the monday night rains caused all the problems.@sindhuThy blog’s been added to my “I read” list.@thegI realize that dude… That’s why I’ve listed out so many solutions!!!

  6. Geniass says:

    Finally realised the importance of SOHO huh? LOL…

  7. vaij says:

    hey sotto is not soho πŸ™‚

  8. Anonymous says:

    Worldspace rules….but wish it were free. I hate going to mommy dearest and asking for three grand, as she ver sweetly says, “first get your cg above 8.5 and then we’ll think about it”:(I’m done with buses. I’m using a scooty pep plus (sheeeeesh! a 90 kilo mass on a 90 cc engine!) going all over bangy without a licence….got caught for dangerous driving twice…but look at it. It takes 3 hours to get to my house in Jayanagar from Millers road where I volunteer. on a bike it takes thirty minutes….201! Ha! God bless! Juss be careful with your wallet in there!

  9. Jayanth Madhav Barki says:

    BTW anon above is me. My touchpad has got a mind of its own!

  10. randomwalker says:

    @anonymous alias Jayanth Madhav BarkiOh I recognized the anon immediately.. I’ve read of ur mom’s sad loss in 201..I really empathize with thee…

  11. Kripal Pais says:

    wow. already pissed out about the working world huh? chill maccha. if life were easy everybody would be a pro at it. i havent started work yet. i’ll probably have a post like this in a month and u can tell me the same things. πŸ˜‰

  12. randomwalker says:

    @kripal paisDude, I am not cribbing about my work at all… It’s been great [ and I mean it] so far… But the Travelling-By-Bus Scene in Bangalore sucks… I agree that there are so many reasons for it, including the exponential immigration rate… All I am saying is, when you are inviting development, you should make sure that you have the necessary infrastructure… Which is not the case in Bangalore…It’s not worth troubling the native citizens as well as the immigrants, in the name of development.

  13. priya says:

    well, it’s just UNPRECEDENTED growth that’s the problem…who’d’ve ever thought formerly far flung areas like domlur and arkere would become IT hubs? give it another two years, and i guess things’ll be better.

  14. priya says:

    @barki:you can go to a worldspace lounge, [it’s called THE WORLD’S LARGEST MUSIC STORE] in either jayanagar 4th block near planet M or brigade road near planet M again. just wait till diwali or new year when you can get a subscription for just 1400. but then, it isnt portable, so you cant shunt it between surat and blore. dont count on the worldspace RJs, they suck harder.

  15. Jayanth Madhav Barki says:

    @priya:Suck harder? that is SOME double entendre.Suck worse, perhaps!Ya, i missed the offer by 2 days this time. it started in ober and went on till may 5th. And i walked into the worldspace thingy on may 7th :(BTW, the jayanagar w’space thing is closed….the nearest one would be namma forum one.

  16. Jayanth Madhav Barki says:

    n i thought diva was portable right?

  17. priya says:

    diva is portable, but you need to have the antenna, cable etc when you want to listen.

  18. N says:

    nice post…though you r cribbing way too much…y donchu come down to mumbai sometime n taste the public transport out here???I can play your perfect host and together we can board the train to kurla or any western line…maybe a borivli fast…n also take the bus 323 from kurla to saki naka…then probably u will realise Bangalore is a lot better…course the song “aashiq banaya” will be playing in the background…nobody hates that bastardo more than i do…

  19. randomwalker says:

    @nI guess each city has its own share of bad infrastructure.The problem is: we have upgraded to a better lifestyle , but we still have to do with the older infrastructure,which cannot sustain this rapid development.. I guess, it’ll take some time for things to improve, but hopefully before our patience might be tested. :)And for a comparison between Bangalore and Mumbai, you can read this: http://antrasgooli.blogspot.com/2006/06/bangalore-suxxxx.html..

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